Lessons From A Corporate Tool

The Curse of Losing

2005-10-28T12:59:00.000-05:00

I get a little depressed every year immediately after the World Series b/c there won't be any baseball for 5 and a half months. So, to help cope I'm going to write about our Pastime. I doubt people will care but that's ok.

The White Sox broke their 88-year curse by winning the World Series on Wednesday. It's the 2nd year in a row in which the baseball gods have reversed what seemed to be an everlasting plague in two cities that have come to live out the lifestyle of losing. Which team will break their curse next? The Red Sox broke theirs last year and the White Sox broke theirs this year. Well, the only team left is the Cubs, who have managed to turn losing into something of a lovable attribute. The attitude on the Northside assumes failure. Nobody will admit it but I guarantee that the players have a dreadul fear in the back of their minds that when they take the field they aren't going to change anything. Losing is expected. I don't think that fixes itself very easily, which is why I think those cities have gone so many years without a title. The Cubs will eventually win, but it makes it increasingly harder when you go into the season thinking that you won't get anywhere, and even if you do, some goat or some fan will ruin it. The Curse of the Bambino, the Black Sox Scandal, those are all things that you take w/ you from year to year, from the end of the previous season to the start of the next, you start off w/ the negative. The players do it, and it seems really hard to play to win w/ a losing mentality. These things eventually correct themselves as in the Red Sox and the White Sox case, but it takes a long time and a lot of luck.

(By the way, the baseball gods is just an expression).

I don't care

2005-10-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't felt like blogging for a while. I have the time, sort of, but just haven't wanted to. Here's my update...I had a really fun birthday party 2 Saturday's ago...those of you who were there know. Work hit me upside the head b/c i wasn't prepared for the hours we're working now. It was just a mental thing. I wasn't expecting it so it sucked, and still does. Saturday and Sunday were bad days for sports...the Cowboys blew it, the Astros blew it, Texas won, and the Aggies nearly blew it. That's about it.

The Onion

2005-10-12T17:25:00.000-05:00

I just wanna put it out there that I think www.theonion.com is the funniest web site I've ever seen. If someone from that company came up to me and offerred me a job as a writer I would drop what I was doing and go do it. It is seriously some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. Case in point: Tuesday night worship/Bible Study at Watermark. After a praise and worship session this guy got up there to start his talk. About 1/4 of the way into it an article that I read earlier in the day popped into my head. It was one of those deals where if I had been in a place where silence wasn't necessary then I could've just laughed and got it over with. But no, I had to hold it in which made it worse. So for the rest of time, through his sermon, through prayer, and through the closing worship songs I was ready to combust. The guy who gave the sermon probably thought I was very disrespectful b/c I had a big smile on my face when he was talking about things like sin, and depravity, and other things of that nature. (He didn't just talk about those things though).

So, here are a few of my favorite articles from their website as of late...in somewhat of an order:

1) Iraqi Cop Moonlighting As Terrorist Just To Make Ends Meet
2) Dying Boy Brought In To Cheer Up Kansas City Royals
3) CEO's Success Credited To Unbelievable Handshake
4) Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years
5) Area Man Confounded By Buffet Procedure
6) Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant

I'm going going back back to Dali Dali (w/ a stopover in Austin)

2005-10-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

I'm meeting up w/ my English friend Grant in Austin tonight. We figured that out all the cities in Texas (and really the U.S.) Austin is probably the only place that is actually worth making an additional trip to.

With that said he'd been in College Station since Wednesday b/c Jay had some sort of training to go to and I was gonna be in New Mexico. College Station is not a city that is worth making an additional trip to but anything can be fun for a couple days. I was there for 5 years and I made it fun.

Anyways, I'll be back in Dallas for good on Saturday...and it turns out that my really good friends Amy and Nicole are moving in right next to me on that day. That's kinda cool b/c another one of my friends Blake lives in the building across the street. It's kinda becoming a pseudo community in our own little area. I never thought I'd say this but I'm really enjoying Dallas. It took about a year or so to get settled but the last 4 or 5 months have been really good. I usually don't like routines (the whole familiarity breeds contempt deal) but for some reason I'm very content in this city.

Ok, time to catch a flight to Austin.

Ready, Fire, Aim

2005-10-04T09:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've had the time but not the will.

Since we last heard from me I had plans to go to Coldplay/ACL for a barrage of musical talent. I didn't do either of them. Whether it was from my own choice or others neither happened. I mostly blame New Mexico for Coldplay and my own gut and grit for ACL.

I got in late Friday night from New Mexico so I couldn't go to Coldplay. ACL was a different story. It turns out I'm not hardcore whatsoever. I drove down to Austin Saturday and got there in time for one of my favorite bands. It also turns out that it was really really really hot. It also turns out that we were about 1/2 mile from the stage. That was really stupid b/c I didn't want to drive to Austin to "hear" all of these bands. I could do that in the comfort of my own car/room/anywhere else that wasn't 108 degrees (no kidding) w/ no wind...except for the occasional dust storm that we endured. And I had a flight out of DFW at 6:50 am on Monday and wouldnt' get back to Dallas til about 3 that night. Long story short, me and my roommate got there, stayed for about 30 minutes and left. The thought of sitting on my couch was the main driving factor. Most people I explained this to didn't understand but to me and Chris it made perfect sense. I heard phrases like "What?", and "Nobody does that". All very good points.

I think 5 or 6 years ago I would've hacked it down there but this was just a case of not wanting it bad enough. I just don't care.

The last week was spent in New Mexico. On that Friday I was told that I would be spending the next week (i.e. yesterday, today, tomorrow, etc.) in New Mexico. That did not go over well. My friend Grant, who came all the way from Bracknell, England, has been planning to come to see me and Jay for a while now. I had been scheduled to be in town the whole week, and then I get pulled off to go to Las Cruces. I don't think so. It's amazing what a little anger mixed w/ tact can do. After several attempts to get myself in town for the time he was gonna be here my resolve paid off and I'm sitting in Dallas right now.

Here's the coolest thing we've done w/ him so far. We took him to shoot guns. He had never in his life even touched a gun but on Sunday, after the Rangers game, he found himself riding in a 4X4 Silverado w/ a gun in the front seat on his way to shoot clay pigeons. Surreal was a good word he used to describe the situation.

Anyways, we're planning on taking him to Austin this weekend after he spends a couple days in College Station. Then he takes himself back to England and w/ him will probably go any chance of me perfecting my English accent anytime in the near future.

So that's what's been up. I'm off to New Mexico tomorrow, Austin on Friday/Saturday and then life should be based out of Dallas for a while.

Do you know the music man...I don't

2005-09-23T09:34:00.000-05:00

This weekend is full of REALLY good music. Friday night it's Coldplay and Rilo Kiley at Smirnoff in Dallas. Saturday and Sunday it's ACL. Here's the problem:

Coldplay - I'm in New Mexico and flying from El Paso at 5pm today. Doors for Coldplay open at 6pm. My flight lands at 7:40pm. Rilo Kiley goes on at 7:30 and Coldplay goes on at 9:00. My friend who I'm going w/ has been nice enough to grant me leeway and hasn't given me the boot from the concert. I'm not so sure I wouldn't have if I were in the opposite position. Apparently, flights from El Paso to Dallas are notoriously late on Friday...so basically I'm probably not going to go to Coldplay.

ACL - Saturday is fine. Expect for the hurrinane winds and rain that may be present. Sunday is worse. I bought tickets to ACL about 2 months ago. I found out I was scheduled on the New Mexico job about 2 weeks ago. I booked a flight from Dallas to El Paso on the Sunday of ACL at 7pm. ACL gets over at 10pm on Sunday. Oops.

Better Than Wine

2005-09-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

I’m sorry to steal the title from Derek Webb…but that song is so good. I don’t even know how to describe the depths of the truths of that song except to say that song sounds like love. And not the romantic love that the world typically thinks of. It sounds like the love of Christ, something from the Bible. That actually works out well b/c at least two of the lines from that song were taken straight from the Song of Solomon.

Whether Derek is talking about his new bride or the bridegroom of Christ, it doesn’t matter…I’m going to interpret the song by the latter. What I love about the Song of Solomon is that it takes truth and passion and unifies them. The author’s excitement towards his lover is so evident that it jumps off of the page. At my old church, which is a great church, one of the principles that was taught was fact before feeling. I still agree with this, and I think this principle is outlined in the Song of Solomon. You can just sense the truth oozing from the book and at the same the raw emotion that results from the truth is exhilarating.

I’m really fascinated w/ being the bridegroom. Although there isn’t much evidence to support this, if the Song of Solomon is viewed as a spiritual allegory that is a metaphor of Christ’s love for his bride, this is what I think would be cool about that.

In a typical Christian marriage there is one bride and one groom. Ideally, they live in faithfulness to each other for their entire mortal lives. Although they have each other, they still need 2 main things. They need community w/ other believers and reliance upon Christ. However, our sinful nature doesn’t allow us to rely on Christ 100% of the time and lots of marriages are spent in a lack of commune w/ other believers. It’s not perfect.

But the beauty of the bridegroom is it takes care of both of those problems. With our glorified heavenly bodies we CAN live in perfect relationship with our savior…and we get to do so not w/ just one bride (i.e. myself) but we do it with all other believers. It’s the best of both worlds. To have perfect communion w/ Christ w/ a bunch of other Christians. That lights my fire.

I'll Paso

2005-09-12T13:56:00.000-05:00

Serving to reiterate my feelings about most things west of Dallas is the city of Las Cruces, NM. Las Cruces is a "college town" (believe me, I use that term in the loosest sense possible) that is home to the fighting Aggies of New Mexico State University. Before I arrived here I was told by several people that the town has nothing in it. I didn't see how that was possible as there was a decent sized university there. But, my doubt has been put to rest as the city has spoken...and has not said much.

I flew into El Paso, a city that I am not fond of due to experiences that were blogged about back in May. From the airport we took our brand new Toyota Matrix and drove the 30 mile drive to Las Cruces. At night I couldn't tell how sucky the place was but in the morning it was really evident. There was a bar w/ a sign on the window that actually said "Beer drinkers wanted". Very clever.

When I checked into the hotel something very strange happened. When I went to go to my room I slid the key into the door and tried to open it. The door only opened about 2 inches b/c the little metal dealy that you can flip over so that the door can only open so far was in tact. I was amazed. The only way that can happen is if you do it from the inside...unless there was another door that you can go room to room from...which there wasn't. The hotel manager came by and tried to use some sort of contraption to get the deal undone but was unsuccessful so he gave me the room next to it. I didn't think about it until about 4 in the morning when I was awoken by a bunch of comotion from the room I was originally given. It sounded like somebody kept turning on the water and turning it off, then I heard some more noise, the door shut and a car took off. There probably was someone in there when I tried to get in, but when I looked through the window all the lights were off and the beds were made. Maybe they were hiding in the bathroom. So, at about 4 in the morning your mind doesn't work right and I started to think that some mass murderer was in the room next to me and he was going to be mad at me b/c I might have put the pieces together that he was trying to hide in a hotel room w/ dead bodies...and maybe he was trying to wash away the evidence by turning on the water again and again...and so then he would have to shoot me through the wall or knock on the door and shoot me just as I came to look through the peep hole. It turns out that probably wasn't the case.

3 more weeks in the hotel.

Liar, Liar

2005-09-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

I felt like this deserved a post.

It happens every year. It's been happening since 1939. Hyped anticipation leading to ultimate let down. Whether it's sooner or later it's always sometime. I've never seen a group of people fill all their hopes with such a sure let down. The resiliency to failure is uncanny. The false hope given by outsiders can only be seen as collusion w/ the organization in order to generate revenue.

This is the world of Aggie football. Every stinkin' year we're picked as the sleeper, the team that is picked to surprise everyone and win our conference, maybe even have a shot at the national title. We're suppossed to have had a killer recruiting class, or a bunch of returning starters, or an improved quarterback...but all of those things are forward looking phenomena. They never manifest themselves. Every year we're picked to do something much greater than we're capable of. If people were more realistic about the situation then I don't think this would bug me so much. If the analysts would just come out and say we have a mediocre team that isn't capable of beating Texas, or stopping Adrian Peterson, or playing defense against Tech, then I wouldn't go into the season w/ such high hopes. But no, they say we have the POTENTIAL to do all of this. Potential doesn't get anyone anywhere.

I'm bitter.

I think I've got the black lung Pop

2005-09-06T10:58:00.000-05:00

This weekend was very, very long. Jay came down Wednesday night, he was visiting from Europe...(haha). Thursday night we hit up Dallas. Clifton came in on Friday night to hang out. We watched the Aggies get beat by Clemson Saturday. Bunch of jerks. We hit up church and lunch Sunday morning/afternoon and the hookah on Sunday night (kinda funny right). All of this happened while I was sick and w/o a voice. People told me I shouldn't go smoke hookah w/ a hacking cough but I showed them.

I sat around all day on Monday reading Angels and Demons and then went to go see Red Eye (so so movie). A little recovery time as pretty much every night I was up late.

So Angels and Demons. I had heard so many rumors about Dan Brown and how this book, and especially the Da Vinci Code were so controversial. Bottom line. This guy is a good writer. There may be some things that the church would find border line blasphemous, but that doesn't take away from the fact that the book reads effortlessly, and you don't ever really want to put it down. Once I finish Angels and Demons it's on to the Da Vinci Code, which I heard was a little bit more blunt about its views on Christianity.

Peace out.

Weekend Update: With Jeff McWilliams

2005-08-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

3 day weekends rock. We have this thing at work where we can take Fridays off if we get enough hours in Monday thru Thursday. So, I took Friday off. That was cool b/c it let me catch up on doing very little...which is always nice. My roommate hooked us up w/ Rangers tickets from his company on Friday night and I got to witness a rareity in the Rangers winning, not to mention a shutout. Later on that night I had a blast from about 1986 when we spent an hour or so playing Pole Position. I found this 5 in 1 Atari deal at Urban Outfitters and it has already paid for itself ($10).

Saturday night was fun. A bunch of people from my old church had a bbq at their house...most of the people there were my parents' friends. Even though some people might think that would be boring, they forget that these people all attend Crossroads Bible Church. Here's the thing about the adults at Crossroads Bible Church. They're all crazy. They're hilarious too. I say crazy in a good way b/c I know that my mom will read this and relay it to all of her friends. That's the way it should be though...Christians should be full of craze/laughing/funny stories, etc.

Sunday was spent at church, Joe Willy's, Fun Fest and Chili's.

Now I am sick which is a problem b/c my friend Jay is coming back from Prague on Wednesday and I never go to sleep at reasonable times when he is there. I guess I'll just have to become mentally tough b/n now and Wednesday. It's a 4 day weekend.

Much Love

2005-08-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

I really appreciate everyone's point of view about my little delve back into theological banter. If there was one thing in common with everybody's opinion it would be relationship over intellect. And honestly, from the people who commented, I would expect nothing but.

Just saying thanks.

Updates to come later.

An irresistible post

2005-08-22T11:53:00.000-05:00

I've been at a loss for what to post on my blog lately...I've been wanting to but just haven't had any brilliant ideas of what to post except for what happened the day before, and that's usually really boring. I think it's just b/c I've gotten into a routine, and nothing that out of the ordinary has happened in a while (except for that whole truck deal).

But, today I have something somewhat important. (Note the bolded word)

Keeping this topic in perspective, it can serve to further someone's relationship with God. Deal with it out of perspective and it results in a cold heart and spiritual pride. So, with that said...I've been consumed the last couple weeks w/ Calvinism. Mainly Calvinism vs. Arminianism. About 6 years ago I dealt with this, but 6 years ago I was a jerk of a Christian and thought that my knowledge of this subject somehow made me spiritually mature. In reality it made me a loser. Before, I thought that all of this intellectual study really mattered, probably even for someone's salvation...but, by the Grace of God, I'm much more mellow about that stuff now, and think that I can probably handle all of the knowledge w/o negative consequenses.

So, letting by-gones be by-gones, I think I'm ready to revisit this stuff again in a manner that glorifies God. So that's what I'll be doing over the next....well, it could take a while.

If anyone has any good resources on the stuff I'd love to hear it. Ok, I'm out.

The Curse of the New Truck....AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

2005-08-16T08:56:00.000-05:00

Let me give you a rundown of my night:

When I was leaving from work I realized that I didn't have my parking pass to get out of the parking garage. So, I had to pay $6 to get out of the lot...no biggie. On the way out, instead of going out the contract parking exit I went out the visitor exit, which made me make a right turn. When I made the right turn I scraped a curb. Annoyed, I yelled at the curb to move, thinking I probably hurt it more than it hurt me.

I got back to my house, got some stuff together, then headed out to do some truck stuff. On the way out of my garage, the stupid thing slammed on the hood of my truck. I saw this coming, paniced, put it in reverse, held my foot on the pedal, and succesfuly reved the engine. (Looking back, that would not have been my plan). Garage 1 - Jeff 0. I got out to look at what happened and realized that there wasn't any damage b/c the bottom of the garage is just rubber. Some girl was walking by and asked me if I needed help but I had no idea how to answer her. "Could you fix my piece of junk garage?" I messed with the thing for a minute and eventually got it back on track. No harm done.

So I was on my way to get my old CD player installed at Car Toys. It was raining. I got out of my truck. As I was walking towards the store I decided to turn around and admire my truck, as I normally do. Only this time there was a huge dent in the side of it. Here's what I did. I stood there in the rain with a sad, defeated, despaired, costly look on my face.

So, I'm not exactly sure about this...but, it turns out that the curb that I hit was guarded by a post. I'm pretty sure that when I hit the curb I also ran into the post also...which, to the best of my knowledge, serves no purpose except to scrape and dent your car when you hit the curb.

So, rundown of the events:

1) I ran my truck into a post
2) I slammed my garage door on the hood of my truck
3) Oh yeah and my insurance rates went up (naturally)

Crap.

Down with the ship

2005-08-14T17:51:00.000-05:00

Another rockin' weekend...recap:

Friday: Day off. So what do I typically do on a day off? Nothing. However, on this day off I bought a truck. If you're wondering which one I got...I got the one that no one voted for. As Peter Griffin would say, "It's freakin' sweet". Later on that day I drove (actually rode) down to Lake Sam Rayburn to meet up with a bunch of people from church who had a condo, boat, etc.

Saturday: Boating. We're not good at it. Seriously. Let me give you a summary of the first 10 minutes on the boat. Within the first 5 minutes we noticed that all of the sudden an abnormal amount of water was let into the boat and we were much lower than normal. Basically, we were sinking the boat b/c too many people were in the front of the boat. Everyone from the front went to back, then to the side so the water could fall out. 2 people jumped in. Most of us suffered from group think and kinda just stood there, wondering if we should gather our belongings, and if this was actually happening or not. We eventually got the water out and the boat didn't sink. If only that was the end...

5 minutes later, a couple girls decided to do some "trick jetskiing" 5 feet away from the boat. They thought they should try to do some spinny thing, fell off, and ran the jet ski right into the stinkin' boat. I watched as the jet ski went from their control, to no one's, and smacked the boat right in the side, putting a nice sized dent on the outside and knocking a bunch of paneling loose on the inside. I think someone yelled "Hey!. We're gonna take this thing down one way or the other".

The only other mishap occurred when my sister lost her husband. It started to rain and lightning and we all had to go to the shore. Jeremy, Lori's husband, had a problem with his swim suit, and took a jet ski back to the cabin an hour or so before it started to rain. On the way back the thing died. About 5 minutes later it started to rain and lightning. When he was stranded on the lake he waived his hand at several people asking for help, and most of them usually just shrugged their shoulders and pointed to the sky, as to say, "It's gonna rain. That's really dangerous. I don't want to risk MY life. If anyone's gonna die it's gonna be you". I'm pretty sure if I were in that situation I wouldn't have been as nice as Jeremy, and probably would've done some pointing of my own...not with my pointer finger. I'm sorry, but that's just crappy to leave someone with a dead jet ski out in the middle of the lake with rain and lightning while all you have to do is throw him a rope and you can tug him back in. It seems that if there was ever a time to haul in a stranded person it would be in the middle of a thunderstorm. Eventually that's what someone did. His name was Elijah and apparently was the only decent person that boats on Lake Sam Rayburn.

That afternoon and night was spent napping and building a campfire by pulling out roots from a hill of rocks. Be careful though, b/c falling down a hill of rocks is not a pleasant experience. It hurts.

The next day we woke up and took off for home. Weekend over.

By the way, Lori and I still know how to dominate a jet ski.

My mode of transportation is dying

2005-08-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

My truck has been giving me crap lately. Like the last 3 months. I own the thing so I don't have a car payment, but it's becoming one. I'm thinking about tossing it and buying a new one.

Dodge is doing their Employee pricing and cash back deals so I'm gonna probably buy from them. A new Dodge Ram will work. In order to get it into my garage I'm going to need to build ramps...it's hard to explain, but I wish someone would tell me why garages aren't built big enough for trucks...especially in Texas. My parents garage is the same way.

I have my options narrowed down to two. Should I go decked out w/ leather, heated seats, sunroof etc., or do the more reasonable thing and get one that will just get me from point A to point B?

A quick little update

2005-08-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

I think it was easier to post in Kiev. I could go to an internet cafe w/o having to worry that my TPS reports wouldn't get filed. Seriously though, it's been very strange being back at work...especially on Monday when my body still thought it was 9 hours later than it actually was. So when I came in at 8am I was pretty much ready to go home.

My hours have been so screwed up lately. I've managed to go to bed at 7:00, 9:30, 11:30, 8:30, 12:00 and wake up at 6:00, 6:30, 5:30, 6:30, and 7:00. My normal schedule puts me to bed at around midnight and wakes up at about 8:00...or depending on the client I'm on...as late as I can make it.

Here's a good story: My flight back. Kiev to London to New York (JFK...8 hour overnight layover) to New York (La Guardia) to Dallas. I slept in the La Guardia airport in my Jaguar sleeping bag. As I was sleeping I was extremely weary that one of the shady looking characters hanging out at the airport would snag my sleeping bag out from under me due to sheer jealousy that I owned a Jaguar sleeping bag. (For those of you that didn't go on the mission trip, some store in England actually sells sleeping bags under the brand name of Jaguar). However, the Lord protected me and my sleeping bag and the pseudo pillow I made out of my backpack.

I slept fairly well. Up until 4:30 am when there seemed to be a huge panic at the airport which woke me up. For those that have never experienced anything slightly embarassing, it's very interesting to wake up on the floor in the middle of 500 people swarming around you. You feel a bit lazy and useless. All of these people are busy accomplishing something and you lay asleep. It turned out what they were accomplishing, catching a 6 am flight, became my goal, as I thought it would be intelligent to get the crap out of the airport, since I had been traveling for 24 hours, and catch the early flight home. I took a stand by flight home and sat next to some Spanish couple who brought their barking, whimpering dog on the plane in a bag. Don't bother with a kennel you two, you'll just spoil him.

Anyways, my good friend had parked my truck in remote parking, left the keys at Northwest Airlines will call, and stuck me with the bill. I drove to my parents house, who had also been on a mission trip in Eastern Europe (Russia), heard about their time, told them about mine, went home, swore that I would make it to midnight and fell asleep at 7 pm. 11 hours later I woke up and got my life back in order. I also found out that my ex-ex girlfriend is engaged. I gave her this web site so if you're reading Amy...Congratuations!!! Most people might think that finding out that you're ex is getting married would be a bad thing, but not in this case. We're still really good friends and probably had one of the best break ups ever. I really enjoyed it.

Well, I'm in a very strange writing mood and better be careful what I write so I'm gonna put a stop to this.

A little bit more to come later but not much.

Kiev

2005-07-25T13:42:00.000-05:00

Well, I never thought I'd be using an internet cafe in Ukraine, or as they say in Ukraine...an штеуктуе сфау. Here's the story behind getting there.

On Saturday night, in Warsaw, Simon, Dave and I went to go scope out a place that was recommened by one of the guidebooks to hang out at. We were meeting a college student named Peter that night and wanted to find a cool place to take him. We checked it out, deemed it worthy and came back there with Peter later on that night.

We informed Peter that we would be travelling to Kiev by train on Sunday night. When he heard this he was interestingly shocked and surprised. This led to our whole team wondering why a local would be curious as to why we were taking a train to Ukraine. He then informed us of the following information.

1) The Embassy of Ukraine has reported several instances of passengers being gassed while sleeping and then, of course, being robbed. The interesting thing is that in order to get into a locked room you have to have a key. Only the train personnel has the keys and therefore they are in on it too.

2) We would almost certainly have problems at the border of Poland and Ukraine. Most likely they would force us to give them money. Ordinarily, if it was going to take a few bucks to get into a country I would comply but if you remember correctly, the Embassy of Ukraine has already taken enough of my money and I wasn't about to give them any more.

3) They charge for sheets (that's just cheap).

Our new found information had brought our group to an intersting state in which we were all prepared to stand up for our rights as U.S. and U.K. citizens and beat the crap out of anyone trying to mess with our stuff. In fact, we even had a battle cry..."Don't take any crap!"

After denying our egos we gave the trip to the Lord and had an incredibly smooth train ride.

Then came Kiev.

By the grace of God, the people who were suppossed to meet us at the train station showed up even though neither one of us had a clue what the other looked like. Our goal was to find the apartment that we were staying at an check in. Ha! First of all, time means nothing to Ukraininan businessmen and neither does the price or original apartment that we booked. It literally took 4 hours, 1 argument w/ the owner of the place, and 1 Ukraininan butt chewing by a drunk old guy to get settled in. Fortunately, the girl who was responsible for taking us to the place was really nice and actually turned out to be Presbyterian.

So, with that said we are settled in and ready to see what the Lord has in store for us. Please keep us in your prayers.

Auschwitz

2005-07-22T02:45:00.000-05:00

After Bratislava we headed to Krakow and took a side trip to Auschwitz. Words aren't really good enough to express what happened there. The sheer vastness of Auschwitz II - Birkenau is enough to render someone speechless for the entire time they're looking around. We saw the original living conditions, the original railroad used to haul the prisoners into the camp, gas chambers, crematoriums, and a pond where they dumped the ashes from the bodies.

As a Protestant American (as opposed to a Jewish Pole/German/Hungarian/Slovac/Czech/Russian/anyone else that was considered inferior) I knew the history behind what happened there but didn't fully connect with the travesty that I was looking at. I guess I'm saying that my mind wanted to tell my gut to be in knots but since I'm so disconnected to the people that this happened to I couldn't. We had a taxi driver take us to and from the "museums". Both of his parents died in the camp. At Aushcwitz they have pictures of all of the prisoners hanging on the walls. I can't begin to imagine if I saw my parents or my grandparents picture on the wall. I think I would be able to get a better feel for the events though.

Where to begin

2005-07-19T09:38:00.000-05:00

Much has happened since my last blog post. I'll start from the last night in Prague.

We wanted to go back to Nebe, the place where we met Michael the coffee shop guy, for one last hurrah. After we were done there it was time to catch the train to Bratislava.

We had to go back to the hostel to pick up our laundry. While we were there Jay realized that he forgot his bag at Nebe. Oops. In a rush of panicy decision making he took off to Nebe to find it knowing full well that our train left in an hour. Before he left I yelled to him that if he is not on the train we are going to Bratislava. (That's a team player).

The 5 of us made it to the train station and waited on Jay until about 7 or 8 minutes before it left. Then we got on the train. I walked up and down the train looking for him but he wasn't there. Before I got back to our compartment the train was moving. Then it hit me. We left our leader in Prague. We were suppossed to meet a girl named Alenka at the train station and she would show us to our hostel. Not only did we not know what Alenka looked like, we had no clue aobut the name of our hostel (b/c it turned out it didn't have one).

Instead of growing depressed about Jay we basically threw a party and witnessed to a German girl who was in the the compartment next to us. She was very intelligent and actually brought up some of her concerns with original sin.

Then, at about 4:00 am the train guys came around looking for our passports. The 3 of us in my sleeper car showed us what he needed and we went back to sleep...for about 15 minutes when we got a knock on our door. Dave, another team member, informed us that Simon, another team member had lost his passport and that the border patrol was kicking him off at the next stop. This seemed to be a problem. Our solution was the Dave would go with Simon back to Prague to go the U.S. Embassy and get a new passport and meet up with us in Bratisalva or Poland. We then realized that with this plan, we would have lost 50% of our team in one train ride.

As the border patrol guys were about to toss him off Dave was busy getting his stuff ready. When he went to pick up his bag he saw a pouch with a zipper on it. Realizing what this was he came running down the corridor of the train yelling that he has the passport. So, instead of losing 3 people, we only had lost 1.

When we arrived in Bratislava we looked around for Alenka and couldn't find her so I decided it would be a good idea to begin to yell her name b/c I was hungry and tired of looking around. It worked. They took us to our hostel and we slept. We then met up with some other members of Breakthru Christian Fellowship and the House of Prayer.

**Let me just say that these people are some of the most generous, caring, and compassionate people I have ever met. They bent over backwards for us and I am grateful.

They had our time planned out for us and the prayer sessions we had with them were absolutely great. God is moving in Bratislava and Slovakia and these people are the vessels God has chosen to use. To give some perspective, Prauge is more of a mighty river held up by a dam about to explode while Bratislava is showing signs of the river flowing through.

Tonight we go to Krakow...Auschwitz is on our agenda, which will be very heavy...and then onto Warsaw. I appreciate all of you who are praying for us. Ok, I'm out.

He is there and He is not silent

2005-07-16T07:37:00.000-05:00

A very encouraging aspect of a mission trip is to see God working...I mean obviously see Him working. The first full day in Prague our team received affirmation that God is blessing this trip.

We were sitting at a coffee shop in Prague's New Town and one of our team members, Simon, felt led to speak to a guy sitting at the coffee bar just across from us. He spoke w/ him about 20 minutes and briefly mentioned spiritual topics but mostly the conversation consisted of music. After our time in the coffee shop we gathered to pray and one of our requests was for the Lord to arrange a meeting between us and the guy at the coffee shop again. Honestly, it was one of those prayers that you just kind of pray b/c you think it would be really cool if it happened, but in the back of your head you don't really think it will.

Later on that night, after dinner, we planned to go to a place called Radost, which is a cool little club/pub. At the last minute Jay looked over to me and told me that he didn't want to go to Radost but wanted to go to Nebe (which is heaven in Czech). I didn't care so we headed towards Nebe. Before we went in we circled up on the street corner and asked God for divine appointments.

We went in and the guy from the coffee shop was sitting right there.

Simon was able to speak w/ him for a while and it turns out that the coffe shop guy (his name is Michael) is coming to London in September. Simon is from London and knows a couple people in the music industry, which is what this guy is trying to get into.

To some people this may seem like dumb luck but it meant a lot to our team...especially on the first day.

The next day we were able to attent a prayer meeting w/ the House of Prayer in Prauge. Afterwards they had a bbq at one of the members house, way outside in a little town called Uvoly. I know they blessed/encouraged us and I hope that we did the same for them.

We're taking a train to Bratislava tonight (at midnight) and will be meeting w/ some people involved in the House of Prayer there.

So basically, this trip is starting off really well...and I want more.

We made it...

2005-07-13T14:32:00.000-05:00

Jay and I made to London and Prague so far. We met the other 4 guys we were going with in London on Monday. Some fine blokes if I don't say so myself. Please pray for us as our trip officially begins today. I'll try to keep everyone up to date with the happenings of the trip although it may be hard as we get further east. That's it for now...Cheers! (The English Chaps are wearing on me)

I'm going going back back to Dally Dally

2005-07-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

After 2 and a half months out of town I'm actually living at the place that I pay rent at for an extended period of time. Which is only a week b/c on Sunday I leave for my much anticipated mission trip to Eastern Europe. By the way, if any of you feel so inclined, I haven't received my visa yet to get into Ukraine, so I would appreciate some prayer for that.

This 4th of July weekend rocked. Except for Friday night's disaster of a movie...War of the Worlds. That movie sucked. If you were thinking about seeing it save your money and do something fun. I feel a little better b/c somehow I only paid $5.25 for a child's ticket and the cool lady let me in.

I even got out of going to Celebrate Freedom...which I was not excited about going to. The wedding I went to on Saturday night lasted long enough that by the time it was over, so was any hope of going to see Nicole Nordeman, Toby Mac, Phillips, Craig, & Dean, and several other artists that KLTY has been playing over and over for 20 years. Maybe it's just me but if I ever listen to KLTY it seems like they play the same exact songs from the same exact artists since the late 80's. They must have implemented a Department of Redundancy Department back when nobody was looking. I can only stand "saddling up my horses" so many times.

Happenings of late

2005-06-27T10:12:00.000-05:00

I've been in Austin the last week for a 5 day training session with my company. They didn't give us internet access during the week b/c they thought that we would check our email and space out on useless web sites all day. Well, we got around that by getting Nintendo installed on our computers and playing Mike Tyson's Punchout, Kung Fu, and a bunch of other old school games all week. Employees 1 - Employers 0.

This weekend was spent jumping off of things and being shot up in the air at a high rate of speed. Saturday night a bunch of us went to Speed Zone and bungee jumped and did this other deal called blast off, which shoots you up in the air. They got a new bungee jumping platform, much taller than the previous 50 foot contraption. This new one is 130 feet and you jump from a cage. I did a swan dive and all of the blood rushed to my head very quickly.

I was embittered at my job on Sunday for wanting me to leave for Shreveport Sunday night, so I stuck it to the man by hanging out w/ my roommate that night and waking up at 4:30 to drive to Shreveport. I stopped at a Hampton Inn parking lot to take a 10 minute nap on the way down.

One more week in Shreveport.

We'll all float on

2005-06-17T09:21:00.000-05:00

Weekend plans...

Drivin' from Shreveport to Dallas today. Floatin' the river in New Braunfels with Watermark on Saturday...which is gonna rock. Drivin' back to Dallas Saturday night. Hangin' out with the family on Sunday afternoon. Drivin' to Austin on Sunday night.

What other cities can I fit in this weekend?

Back in Homer

2005-06-14T16:16:00.000-05:00

I'm back in Homer, LA after 2 weeks in Virginia. Yippee. On a happier note, I had a fun weekend in College Station hanging out with Jay and planning some of this mission trip stuff. It mostly consisted of us hawking wireless internet from Coffee Station and from the neighbors downstairs. Everything is looking good except for my visa to Ukraine. Hopefully the 2nd visa application will work. I wrote them a letter expressing my feelings.

Dear Ukraine,

Stop taking my money. If you don't I'm not gonna share the gospel with you.

Frustrated applicant

Heaven and Home

2005-06-08T20:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, time for a serious post.

I was sitting at work this morning and didn't have much to do since the client hadn't given us what we needed so I decided to start writing. The topic was heaven...and me. I was able to throw this around with my Mom a little bit too. Here's what I got.

I think I figured out why I like Europe so much. And it has very little to do with Europe itself, although I do appreciate it's beauty, architecture, culture, etc. I think it's more divine than finite. C.S. Lewis once said that "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world”. Therefore, as Christians, we spend our entire earthly life yearning for a place that we once will be. This is backed up by the Bible when Paul says that "to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Well I definitely am waiting for the day when I can spend eternity with my Father. But for now I'm here on earth now and there is nothing I can do about that. However, that still leaves the constant idea in my head of my future kingdom.

Backtrack to the Spring of 2004. Me, and a group of about 7 others went to Prague to see my good friend Mike and his wife Katie. The trip was extremely fun but even after the trip was over (anyone who knows me can vouch for this) I couldn't get the city out of my mind. In fact, I couldn't get Europe out of my mind...so I went back 3 times.

So why did I go back so many times? Well, I think that I was living out a metaphor of heaven. Prague was my first trip to Europe, and it was made with a community of believers surrounded by the beauty of the city of Prague. I was experiencing a completely new territory with other believers. Heaven itself is experiencing God (perfectly) in a new territory (or at least a transformed earth) with the presence of other Christians. That longing for a different realm was being tapped into and I loved it.

This may seem a little strange but the Bible does use metaphors/analogies to establish God's truth. For instance, marriage, probably the biggest one, is the best example of our relationship with the Trinity and I think that it helps explain my thoughts.

One of the problems with experiencing God halfway across the globe is the fact that I knew that what I was experiencing was imperfect. Even if it was in the context of the magnificence of a beautiful city that I had previously never been to, and furthermore, even if it was in the presence of a bunch of Christians. However, put in the context of marriage I believe this makes sense. Earthly marriage is full of strife, conflict, compromise, etc. In other words, it is imperfect. Earth is full of hopelessness, abandonment, brokenness, etc. Again, it is imperfect. But one day we will have a perfect marriage as the bridegroom of Christ and there will be a day when we experience God's earth perfectly. One day I will be able to experience all of God's earth without the persistent longing for another realm. One day the analogy will be a reality. Woohoo!

Blech

2005-06-07T07:43:00.000-05:00

I was sick on Sunday. Here's what happened:

I was running late for church b/c I wasn't feeling that well. I considered throwing in the towel but decided to go b/c there were other people I was picking up/meeting. I was feeling extremely uneasy and had the chills and was aching. On the way to church I drove and felt like I could make it through the service. When I got out of the car that situation changed dramatically. The conversation went something like this.

"I don't feel so good". Then I barfed in the church parking lot behind some bushes. Fortunately, since I was running late the only people who saw me puke were Mike and Nicole. No one had any gum.

I slept all day, woke up the next morning and felt fine.

I might not have thought this one through

2005-06-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

My flight Friday was at 1:55 pm from Richmond back into Dallas. Another guy had a flight at 1:00 so our plan was to leave at 11:00 from the client’s place and head to the airport. I thought, “This is perfect. With the extra 55 minutes that I will have I can mail my visa application”. For my trip to Ukraine in July they require a Visa. I had all of the steps complete except for the last page of the application, printing the application, printing the hotel confirmation and mailing the thing.

I dropped off my co-worker at the airport at about 12:00. That gave me 1 hour to do what I had to do. I figured there is no way that there isn’t a Kinko’s and a Post Office somewhere near the airport. It turns out there is a way. I drove around for a while trying to find any of those places but to no avail. Finally, in a last ditch effort I drove down a road and spotted a place that had copying services. The man there informed me that he was unable to print anything for me unless I had a disk to print it from. I told him this was very important and convinced him to let me use his personal computer to get the files I needed. He was somewhat computer illiterate. The first step I told him, go to a web page and open up the visa application, didn’t work. I told him what he was doing wrong and it worked. The second step, open up my email and print what I need, didn’t work. I told him what he was doing wrong and it worked. By this time it was about 12:45 and I was beginning to worry. The man told me how much it was and I paid him. Now, I know his services were valuable to me, and I know there are such things as custom paper but I was surprised at the bill for printing 2 pieces of paper. $6.30. I think he took advantage of me being in a hurry. I left the store.

So, it is a quarter til 1:00 and now I need to go to the Post Office. I drive around the airport and finally see where this place is at. As I walk in there is no one in there and I am pleased. However, during the 2 minutes that it takes to fill out my visa application a bunch of people come in the door and need crap mailed. So, I get in line and wait. Another employee comes from the back and mills around for a minute and then offers to help me. After figuring out how to express mail something w/ a self addressed express mail return envelope I get the stuff sent out.

It is now 1:20. I accelerate to the nearest gas station which requires me making a left turn at a stop light. By this time it was 1:23 and I thought to myself that my plane is boarding in 2 minutes. I begin to laugh and yell. The light turns green at 1:25 and I peel out to the gas station. I fill up. At 1:27 I drive (race) to the rental car return. After missing the entrance once I see the correct route and pull up to the rental car return lane. I inform the lady that a rock hit my windshield and the windshield is cracked and to just (no kidding) “put the damage on my card”. She told me I needed to fill out an accident report and I told her no. I grabbed my receipt and ran to the check in counter.

The lady at the check in counter informed me that it was too late to check in. I told her the flight didn’t leave until 1:55 and I still had time. She told me it was too late to check any bags and I told her that I had 3 bags but it would soon become 2. I bent down to begin unpacking items in my blue duffle bag and stuffing them into my laptop bag and my suitcase. I myself did not believe that this could be accomplished so when the bag actually zipped shut I was pretty proud. I looked up and my ticket was sitting there on the corner. The lady told me I still might not make but I didn’t look at her. I ran from the check in counter to the security check point, got through w/ no problem, and found the gate that my flight was leaving from. To my delight I saw that the gate was still open. I ran to the attendant manning the booth and asked if I could still make it. “What”, he said. “Can I still make the flight?” I repeated. “We haven’t begun boarding yet”, he replied. I looked around and there were literally 150 people standing around waiting to board the plane. I started to get the feeling that everyone was looking at me so I scampered off to a pizza place that was right there and got a water and some napkins to dry myself with.

So, it turned out that I could’ve taken my time but obviously there was no way of knowing that. Next time I probably shouldn’t try to mail out such an important document 45 minutes before my flight.

My Winnings

2005-06-02T21:44:00.000-05:00

Here are my net winnings for 3 weeks in Shreveport:

Net Gain - $15
Days spent in Shreveport - 15
Average Winnings per day - $1

U Kraizy man

2005-06-01T07:35:00.000-05:00

So I have my itinerary set for my upcoming trip. Something goofy always happens at the end of my Europe trips. For instance, when I went over the summer w/ my roommate the flight back had us going from Rome to Zurich to Chicago to Dallas. We couldn't get to our hotel the night before our flight from Rome so we slept in the airport. This time around, the flight back has me going from Kiev to London to New York (w/ an airport transfer) to Dallas. New York is screwy b/c I transfer from JFK to La Guardia...my flight gets into JFK at 11 pm and doesn't leave La Guardia until 7:30 am the next day. So, it looks like I'll be sleeping in the airport again. That's my style and I would have it no other way.

And listen to this. I should go ahead and put a disclaimer here.

Disclaimer: Information on this blog may not be 100% accurate and the postings of the author are primarily intended to tell funny stories. In fact, the parties in the said story may have a completely different understanding of the events. But, as they do not have a blog to defend themselves, they are subject to the interpretation of the events through the mind of the author of this blog.

I actually hesitated about posting this but decided to go ahead and do it. This is a funny story but I might tell it to where it paints one party in a less than perfect light...but anyways, that's what makes it funny.

So my sister had been complaining that the diamond in her ring was loose. Sunday night, on our way out to our friends house we stopped at a gas station and apparently Jeremy said something that Lori didn't like. Lori deemed this to be worthy of a backhand to the cheek. She got out of the car and walked into the gas station. While we were in the gas station she began to panic and tell people not to move. I looked at her ring and her diamond was gone. Her husband, Jeremy, the recent victim of domestic abuse, looked down at the tile floor and spotted a very decent sized diamond. Although Lori denies it, what probably jarred the diamond loose enough to fall out was Jeremy's cheek bone.

I realize this may make Lori look like a husband beater but their relationship is healthy. Maybe it will teach her not to use her backhand and instead go with the open palm slap. You live you learn.

(In reality she didn't really mean to hit him but it makes a better story if I make it look like she did. Besides, her diamond fell out of her ring. That's a pretty big deal).

Color me outdated

2005-05-25T12:24:00.000-05:00

Well, since my more serious post is drawing few (zero) comments I figured I'd get back to the drawing board and go with what works.

So I'm still here in Homer, LA. And I still haven't gotten the nerve to eat at Mike's Tire & Soul Food...although I did find out that it was all you can eat, so that may be just enough to entice me into their lube shop.

In some ways I think that Louisianna is behind the times. For instance, they have one hotel. It's actually a motel but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Outside of the hotel they have advertised in big bright block letters COLOR TV. Now, according to http://www.novia.net/~ereitan/, which is some guy who has nothing better to do than come up w/ a website about the history of color tv, color tv has been around since January 1, 1954. If you subtract 1954 from 2005 you get 51 years. Color tv has been around for over 50 years and this motel in Homer, Hillside Motel, is still bragging about it.

Here's another fun little tidbit about Homer. According to Sylvia, who works here in Homer, the "restaraunt" with the best steak and ribs anyone could ever eat is located 10 miles outside of the "city". 10 miles I said! Why that's amazing. Per Sylvia, the location of the restaraunt is situated in a liquor store and you have to eat in the back. Now, I don't know Sylvia that well, but if I had to guess, I'd say that she doesn't get out very much, so her perspective on this whole matter may be somewhat skewed. But, my intuition is that there are other locations in the United States that have better steaks & ribs. I would also be willing to bet that one would not have to eat in the back of a liquor store.

Next week is Doswell, VA. Judging by the name, which is the best way to judge something, I believe that similar encounters will be had.

Since I've been out of town my apartment back in Dallas is getting a little out of control. I came home last weekend and I kept hearing this irritating noise from my bathroom. I walk into my bathroom and look at my tub and it is orange. "This is very strange", I thought to myself. Bathtubs are generally not orange. I looked up and water was leaking from this pipe that I didn't know was hanging from my ceiling. My guess is that this had been going on for about 2 weeks. I still don't know why it turned my bathtub orange though. I guess it could've been a light brownish coloring in which I would then guess it would just be dirt...which makes sense b/c I haven't cleaned my tub in a while.

So anyways, I hope people are happy with this. My plan currently is to go w/ 4 or 5 less serious posts and throw in a meaningful one every once and a while. That oughta keep 'em comin' back.

Mission Impossible...or is it?

2005-05-23T10:38:00.000-05:00

So Sunday afternoon I drafted up a support letter for a missions trip I'm going on in July. I've been putting this off b/c honestly, it's not an easy thing to do. My good buddy Jay and I are going to the Czech Republic (of course), Slovakia, Poland, and Ukraine w/ a missions organization called 24-7 Prayer. Prayer is a big focus of the trip, as the name suggests, but I'm also looking forward to the random (yet divine) encounters that I will have w/ the locals of each country.

Each of these countries have suffered to some extent from oppression in the past, mostly from Communist regimes, whether it be from the Soviet Union or their own country. In general, people from these former Communist countries are extremly skeptical of big organized bureaucracies, including any sort of organized religion, Catholicism not excluded. While Catholicism is by far the most widely accepted religion in Eastern Europe, it still comes second to atheism. Christianity is rejected by the vast majority of the population of each of these countries and from my encounters with these people, it isn't really given a second chance.

Well, I don't believe that they are rejecting the Chrisitianity I know. They are rejecting the Christianity that they know, or have come to generalize. In fact, that's fine if they are rejecting the organization of Christianity. As a whole, Christianity, along with all other major organized religions have made mistakes. The fact that most of Eastern Europe chooses to dismiss Christianity actually tells me that they have some sense in being skeptical of a religion with a stereotype of judgmental activists. But this also tells me that they haven't dug deep enough to discover the root of Christianity. These people can discard Christianity all they want to but on this trip they will have to make a different decision. They will have to decide to reject the person of Jesus instead of an organized religion. My prayer for everyone on this trip is that Christ will be evident in our actions and words to the point that Jesus is manifest in us. This is impossible w/o the Holy Spirit, so my request to you all is that I will rely on the Spirit in all of my interactions with these people.

So, for some reason, the Lord has given me a heart for these people in Eastern Europe. For sure, this trip is gonna rock!

On a different note, my good friend Erica got married this past weekend. Woohoo!!!

Oh happy day!

2005-05-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

Lori's wedding was unbelievable. My mom put so much effort into making the church look good that even I was impressed w/ all of the frilly stuff that was set up. She put her whole heart into this wedding and that was evident from the result of her work.

Brent gave a very personal address to Lori and Jeremy. I really like that about him. It was obvious that they meant a great deal to him...and as Lori's older brother the things Brent said about her were greatly appreciated.

There are 2 things I will never forget. The first time I saw Lori in her wedding dress and watching her walk down the isle. W/o getting too gooky I'll just say that Lori's wedding day was an emotional roller coaster...and one that I wouldn't trade for anything. I was going to post a big blog about the details of the wedding but it was too long and filled w/ stuff I would probably get made fun of for. Watching a little sister get married is not easy.

But I will tell this story. This is pretty good. Before the wedding our plan was to go to Las Colinas and take wedding pictures w/ all of the wedding party. Well, the photographers that we hired had us park in a pay lot w/ half marked spots and half unmarked spots. The marked spots had places to put your money into and the unmarked spots didn't. One of the trucks a groomsman was driving parked in the unmarked spots. About 45 minutes into the pictures the owner of the truck needed to go back to his truck to get something. Well, it wasn't there. Our first thought was that it was stolen. After a few minutes of group think we finally called the number on the pay lot sign and figured out that it was towed (by a bunch of incompentent people). Well this whole thing would not have been a big deal b/c we all could have just squeezed into the other cars and picked up the truck the next day...except for one important thing. The rings, marriage certificate, and luggage were in the car that was towed. The wedding ceremony could go on w/o 2 of the items (the rings and luggage, they ended up using someone else's rings and no one knew a thing). However, the marriage certificate was a problem. It expired at midnight of the wedding day and if we didn't get the truck back by that time there would be problems. Well, after about an hour of panic we finally figured a way to get the truck back to the church...and even got it back before the reception was over. It also turned out that the marriage certificate was sitting at the church the whole time. The end result was fine but the period of time b/n the pictures and the ceremony was a bunch of pandemonium.

We were able to keep all of this from my Mom until after the wedding. Pretty impressive.

So I'm in Homer, LA now. In Homer, the lunch choices are Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonald's, Sonic, Chick-a-dilly and Mike's Tire & Soul Food. This guy actually combined a tire & lube shop w/ a restaraunt. That's freaking sick.

Wedding bells are rings...or they're about to

2005-05-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

Today I'm taking off early from Shreveport and will drive back to Dallas to help everyone out w/ an event that will happen this weekend. It still seems very surreal to me but in 3 days my little sister will be married. In fact, it hasn't even hit me yet, but I'm sure it will on the long drive home when I have time to process the whole thing.

I still won't believe it until I see it though. Not that I don't believe that it won't happen, it's just that I don't think I'm prepared for the actual change that will take place. Over the last few years Lori and I have become very good friends, and I'm used to her being around and always being able to hang out whenever. But, I guess that will all change.

I tried to convince them to go to the Greek Isles for their honeymoon but they went the typical route of Cancun. I told Lori it wasn't very "McWilliams" of her to do so b/c our family tends to do things all out, especially on vacations. But apparently 16 hours in a fairy after a 13 hour plane ride and a 3 hour train ride is less than desirable.

The beginning of married life must be really interesting, b/c everyone gives you all this stuff to get you on your feet, and then the next day you're on your own. They're registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, which reminds me, Oh Crap, I haven't bought them a gift yet, so I better do that now.

This weekend will be one to remember.

Casino Gambling

2005-05-11T12:29:00.000-05:00

So here's what I've been thinking about casino gambling as of late, since I'm around it so much in the not so great city of Shreveport.

1) Gambling is highly addictive. Last time I was here I sat next to a man about the age of 65. I asked him if he came here a lot and he said "not by choice". His gambling addiction had taken over, so much so, that it controls his actions.

2) Gambling is directly coorelated to sex, alcohol, and most other carnal, yet desirable, vices. Any place that gives away, literally, free alcholol, wants you to indulge.

3) Over a long enough period of time, the house always wins. I saw one guy on Monday night who won $40,000 on a slot machine. He seemed to be excited. I later came to find out that was the 2nd time he had won $40,000 on that exact slot machine. Think about that for a second...the 2nd time he had won on that same machine. I can't imagine how long, and how much money he had spent in order to win $80,000.

4) Comped meals are goofy. One of the guys I came with played Tuesday night and lost $100. But he got a free buffet. So, in essence, he paid $100 for dinner. The firm only provides for $21. Do the math. Net loss.

5) Gambling is fun. I never would have thought so, in fact I tried to stay away from that whole image for 23 years or so. But then I went to go play blackjack at Shreveport one weekend (about 6 months ago) b/c some of my friends were going. I stayed up until 4am and won about $600...I started w/ $60. Not a bad return, 1,000%.

Well, everything is starting to hit the fan at work, so I'm gonna cut this blog short even though I have a lot more to say about this topic. I was gonna get a little more serious but oh well. That's all for now.

It's my lucky day

2005-05-09T14:02:00.000-05:00

I'm in Shreveport, LA for the next 6 weeks. It turns out that I'll also be spending some time in Homer, LA, which has a KFC/Taco Bell. It's a metropolis compared to Salt Flat...which doesn't have anything.

Downtown Shreveport is probably the worst downtown area I've ever seen. It makes downtown Dallas/Fort Worth look like something you'd see in Europe. We ate at a Chinese/American restaurant. It's a good thing that my company gives me per diem b/c I sure don't want to pay for subpar Cantanese Chicken/Fried Rice/Egg Roll.

I'll post more later when my boss isnt' looking.

Salt Flat, TX

2005-05-06T11:21:00.000-05:00

I knew this would make a good blog post.

So I just got back from Salt Flat, TX. According to the "Plant Leader", the location I was at was actually, quote unquote, "nothing". The area in which the state of Texas recognizes as a city, the city of Salt Flat, is actually about 6 miles Northeast of where I was. (Keep in mind that Salt Flat does not have a stoplight). However, the area where I was, is not recognized by any governmental authority as anything. Literally, it is nothing.

So, about my experience at nothing...I woke up in El Paso at 4:30am Mountain time, in order to drive to nothing, which is Central time, and get there by 8:00 am. Well, no one bothered to tell me that on my way to nothing, there would be a Federal check point. The purpose of the Federal check point is to inspect bypassing cars for drugs, b/c El Paso is responsible for a huge chunk of the drug traffic in Texas...and probably America. Well, I didn't consider myself subject to the Federal laws of the U.S. and in the words of the officer who pulled me over, I "flew past the stop sign". This officer had a really high voice and looked like a 12 year old b/c his clothes were way too big for him and he looked like he was due for a growth spurt. He told me I didn't stop and I told him I did, and then he wanted to look in my trunk and I couldn't figure out how to get it open. So, basically, in the mind of the cop, here is someone who speeds past a drug stop, won't open the trunk and is driving a car he doesn't own.

It wasn't starting off that well. The cop then went back to his stupid police car w/ no lights on top and figured out that I wasn't a drug dealer and told me to drive safely.

So, I got on my way, at about 95 mph, (I topped out at 105), and made it to nothing early.

I met the guy that was supposed to help me out for the day and soon came to see that he knew absolutely nothing about accounting. In fact, when he learned that I was coming to "audit" him, he asked "What the hell's an audit". When I heard this I was discouraged.

Then I learned that all of the action took place on top of a mountain. And we were going to drive up that mountain and I would be able to do what I came to do. No problem I thought, we'll drive up the mountain, I'll do my thing, then I'll leave.

The freakin mountain top is 17 miles away and I kid you not, we drove 12.5 mph to get there. It took an hour and a half. We stopped on the way b/c the guy I was riding w/ had assured me a couple days earlier that I would want to bring my camera. So, we stopped on the side of the mountain so I could take a picture of a wind mill. (It's actually a wind power machine that is about 160 feet tall, and was pretty cool).

I finally did what I needed to do up there. I also found at that these massive wind power machines explode all the time. And their generators too. While we were up there the not so bright maintanence crew had managed to spill water on a capacitator and blew it up.

Well, after the grueling ride back down the mountain, in which we averaged about 13.5 mph, b/c it was downhill, I wrapped everything up, figuring out that everything was wrong, and left. Before I left I put my keys in my car and my car wouldn't start. It's amazing how many things go through your head when something like that happens. I was in a hurry already, and then when the car didn't start I then began to assume that I was stuck in nothing, had no way back to the airport to catch my flight, would have to stay in Van Horn, TX (about 50 miles away) for the night and wait for a miracle to happen. Well, I told the guys about my car trouble. I should've figured what was next. These guys worked on wind powered turbine engines for a living. Car maintanence is nothing to them. One of the guys had 11 cars, none of which were nice, that he would fix up. They performed their little remedy on my Toyota Corrola, which turned out to be a dead battery. I left my lights on.

They jumped it and I left.

So, that was the tale of Salt Flat and it's near by area of land, nothing. The plant leader told me the mountain range was the Delaware Mountains, but I don't care. When I got back I found out that I'm going to be in Shreveport for 6 weeks. This is not good. My options are to stay at a Holiday Inn or Sam's Casino. Hmmmmm.

I have no mind of my own

2005-05-04T11:46:00.000-05:00

So I gave into the peer pressure from everyone and created this freakin blog. I liked the title suggested by I can't remember who about the lessons from a corporate tool...it seems to be ringing truer everyday. The problem w/ this blog thing is that I think I'm going to become addicted to this very shortly. It's not a bad problem to have I guess...since I'm going to be spending the next 6 weeks in the middle of nowhere, so I won't have that much to do. That was a factor in this decision also. I figured it was a good time to start b/c today...I fly out to the middle of nowhere to Salt Flat, TX. Go to maps.yahoo.com and type in the zip code 79847. It's freakin hilarious.

It's ridiculous b/c I fly from DFW which is central time to El Paso which is mountain time and the next day have to wake up at 4:30 am mountain time and drive to Salt Flat, TX which is central time. The nice man at the wind power plant, which is where I'll be going, informed me of this. Apparently, Deloitte doesn't consider that useful information.

Lesson #1 from the corporate tool: Accounting was a bad decision.